True confessions


You may think I am being foolish by confessing to you some of the things I have done at work that I’m less than proud of. Well, that would be true, except I am doing this anonymously and so I can say what I wish without fear of reprisal. Of course, you can choose not to read it, but, if you’re like most folks, you won’t be able to forego reading juicy tidbits about someone else’s little misdeeds. If you were, there wouldn’t be five hundred reality shows on television. Or, three hundred shows in the Law and Order. Trust, me my indiscretions are pretty lame by comparison. 


Okay, here goes. These are just a few that I recall. There are many more, but I have a selective memory and have probably blocked out the really bad ones.


First, I have a fairly robust supply of Bandaids and gauze pads at home. I wouldn’t say I’m a kleptomaniac, but, in the event a small army of wounded soldiers appear on my front door like on an episode of MASH, I think I’ve got it covered. Bring it on, Hawkeye!


There have been occasions when I’ve availed myself of some happy pills from the Rx pharmaceutical supply. Don’t ask how I got access—where there’s a will, there’s a way—but just know that there are times when one just needs a little “pick-me-up,” like from the hours of—well, all the hours—so, I do partake a bit. Im no Nurse Jackie,mind you, but I have indulged on occasion.


I once lost a patient for an hour in post-op. Not “lost” as in “gone to meet his maker” lost, but I left a patient on his gurney on his way back to his room. I got distracted when someone stopped me in the hallway (no, I was not on a “pick me up”!—I think), but I was terribly sleep deprived. I found the patient in time (in time for what, I’m still not sure) but it was a very stressful hour. It was not entirely my fault, all the gurneys, blankets and hospital gowns look the same. Sometimes it’s hard to tell them apart. When I’m really fatigued, even many of the patients start to look the same. Although they could be the days I am on those little “pick-me-ups.”


Those are but a few. There are more, of course, you probably have some of your own. But I’ll leave some to your imagination. Oh, and if you go to my store on eBay, I’m having a sale on bedpans this week.