Intake history silliness


My job is as a nurse in a day surgery. Perhaps the biggest (and by biggest I obviously mean most time consuming and sometimes frustrating) part of my job is admitting people ahead of their procedures. Part of this task involves a rundown of a variety of questions about their overall health, medical history, and any other relevant information that is required for the procedure. We ask about what medications they take, allergies, and whether they’ve followed the pre-appointment instructions. Unfortunately, I experience a similar conversation to this every single day I work, and if it’s a really good day… more than once. 

Me: Can you confirm your date of birth and full name for me?

Patient: Yes, it’s *date* and *name*. 

So far, so good, right?

Me: Perfect. Are you on any medications?  

Patient: Nope. 

This is easy. 

Me: Great, now, this is an incredibly important question. Do you have any allergies?

Patient: No, I’m just lucky that way, I guess. I’ve always said it’s crazy how many allergies people have these days, it wasn’t like that in my day. 

Then, as we’re nearing the end of the paperwork and we’re about ready to admit the patient they suddenly receive a lightning bolt. 

Patient: Wait, I totally forgot. Now, I don’t know if it counts as an allergy or anything, but I get a nasty reaction to morphine. Also, I take warfarin. 

Me: *nodding silently as I write that down*

Patient: That was a close call, huh? Should I have mentioned my peanut allergy?