Elevator talk


As a hospital transporter, I take patients for their x-rays, tests, and operations. It doesn’t take long to determine who is scared, needs cheered up, or just wants to be left in peace. I picked up a patient who was headed for surgery and he could only have been around 14 or 15. His mom and dad were there. I don’t know what surgery he is heading for, but he seems to be covering up his nervousness by mouthing off at everyone in range. He’s being incredibly disrespectful and rude to everyone, but the brunt of it has been aimed at his dad. He’s swearing and talking back, but I don’t say anything because it’s none of my business. I’ll be rid of him in just a few minutes and on to my next patient. So, there we are on the patient elevator, me behind his wheelchair and his parents off to the side. He starts mouthing off to his dad, likening him to a particular area of female anatomy, and it was at this point I couldn’t stay quiet. 

Patient: Look at you, you stupid p****!

Mother: Stop that now. 

I leaned down so I was sure I had made eye contact with him.

Me: With a mouth like that, it may be the closest you ever get to one. 


The elevator was silent for what felt like forever, then finally his parents burst into laughter. The kid shrugged it off, but kept his peace for the rest of the trip.