Sweet Urine

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The typical paramedic versus nurse battle involves a witty jab of some kind and then an excellent come back. Sort of like the “yo mamma” humor kids used to do back in the days, except for the medical profession. Yes, this humor is immature, senseless, and may lead to fights, but we love to do it anyway, because what humor isn’t immature, senseless, and doesn’t lead to fights?

I’m a nurse myself, and I am always poking fund at my paramedical buddies. Except, one day, I wanted to take the humor to a new level. I was tired of the one liner jokes, and really wanted to move into the prank space more. Perhaps I had just been watching too much Impractical Jokers on TV. See, the paramedics that I worked with always teased me, saying that I, as a nurse and not a first responder, never really saw the true, grotesque horrors that happen on scene. Instead, I was left with a tidied up, duller version of incidents and gross traumas thanks to them. In their eyes, this made their profession better than mine. I suppose their logic was: the more you take, the better you make. How ridiculous. This seems like the logic of caveman.

So I set out to craft a prank that would show them how truly gross being a nurse was. Although, I couldn’t actually be gross. I had to fake it. Thus, one day, at the cafeteria on lunch break with a few other paramedics, I excused myself, claiming I had to collect an urgent urine sample. In my office, I took the collection cup and filled it with chicken juice. When I returned, I asked them if the urine looked right. Their faces instantly scrunched up, and they asked me if I’ve ever seen urine that discolored. I simply shrugged, holding the cup in front of my mouth to hide my smirk as I opened the lid and drank it. 

“Tastes fine, though.” I replied.

 

Never have I ever seen so much pride and victory when they gagged in horror.

 

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