Hagglers

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I work as a Dental Assistant in a busy and successful suburban dental practice. We see about 15-20 patients a day and, given my role, I wind up spending quite a bit of time with each one. Some are very nice and are good and cooperative patients. And others are the ”patients from hell.” I’m no longer objective about it, so see if you agree with me on these patients in particular. It’s just a sampling, certainly not all or the most difficult.

 

I love the patients who negotiate the price with my boss. The people obviously need a filling or extraction, they are in enormous pain, there is swelling, and they still argue and negotiate a fee as if they were buying a used car! My boss, although he does quite well and we won’t have to do a fundraising dinner for him, charges within the range of what all the other dentists charge in the area. We’re not Unlce Al’s Used Cars and Body Shop here! Your mouth is now wider than a blowfish during mating season. Let’s get this done!

 

There are some people who are so deathly afraid of dentists that it becomes comical. I’m not saying that going to the dentist will ever replace going on a Carnival Cruise to Mexico in terms of sheer joy (although it may be safer to go the dentist these days), but it’s not as bad as some people make it out to be. The drama demonstrated by some people is like they were auditioning for a drama school. A really bad drama school. Take it easy, folks. We’ll go easy on you. Plus, we have all kinds of cool things to lessen your real or imagined pain, There’s laughing gas, novocaine, prescriptions for Percocet, Vicodin, Tylenol with codeine and more. Don’t let the fact that we have about 20 different ways to get to your pain pathways make you think we ever actually inflict pain. What would give you thank idea? Now, stop being suck wussy patients and open up!

 

Then, there are the people that second guess every dental procedure we tell the patient is necessary. They want to argue each situation like they are in traffic court. It’s not the way it works. It’s actually pretty straightforward. You go to the dentist, dentist with 20 years of experience and years of schooling tells you what the problem is, you say “okay” and we fix it. Done. Oh, then we load you up with pain meds. There’s no arguing or second guessing. Although, if you’d like, for a couple of hundred bucks in cash, if you meet me after work I’ll come back in and touch-up the X-rays so it looks like your teeth are perfect. But, you’ll be back!

 

 

Listen, even I don’t like going to the dentist. But I do. In fact I go every day. I have to. I have kids in college and a husband who drinks beer by the keg. But, don’t listen to me. I’m a sadist. Now, open wide…this won’t hurt one bit!Hagg

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